As usual, the Democrats are in the process of destroying themselves–these creeps can’t even run their own party–or put forth a viable candidate–and they want us to let them rule the free world–hey Nancy pelosi-you creep havent heard from you–or Chuck Mr. Liberal Shumer–idiots–your Boy Obama is going down just like Mr Flip Flop Phony war hero Kerry did–Hilary–go count your money that you ripped off from the American people–your’e goin nowhere–John McCain–a true American who has seen war–and knows the political scene will lead us to a rebirth of Freedom! We must put pressure on those Saudis tolower the price of oil–and lock up these Wall Street Hedge fund manipulators who are ripping us off—Power to the people–the little people–i tell it like it is–i have your back–dont obey the Liberal media of the New York Times-they are subversives and traitors!  Read Ask Uncle Jake and get the real truth! time for a brew!

Posted in: Uncle Jake

Al Gore has a Nobel and an Oscar, but this compromise candidate has 16 Clios, innumerable Cannes Lions, untold numbers of Andy and Effie awards, One Show Golds and Silvers, and a Webelos badge.
If Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton step aside, peace will reign in the one place in America where strife this summer seems to be absolutely certain, Denver, Colorado in the convention hall when the Obama delegates clash with the Clinton delegates in fiery floor demonstrations not seen since Lemon Pledge went up against Mr. Clean.
People can vote for me or against me without fear for a second that they will be called  racists, sexists, ageists, communists, fascists, sedevacantists, atheists, syndicalists, Calvinists, nominalists or positivists. All the isms (liberalism, conservatism, progressivism, monism, dualism, monarchism, theism) fall by the wayside when a candidate such as I who stands for nothing stands up for his party.
As President William Jefferson Clinton said, “It all depends on your definition of the word ‘ism’.” Clinton, contrary to popular myth populated by a popular black woman writer, was not the first African American President; he was, though, the first Roman Catholic President, having attended parochial school (the only Chief Executive to do so) in Little Rock and a Jesuit University (also the only President to do so). His formulations (“I didn’t inhale” and “I never had sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky” are perfect examples of the casuistry that moral theologians would pose to Catechetical classes back when President Clinton was in school and the Vatican councils had not changed moral course.
Compare my pastor with Obama’s pastor. It’s easy to do since I don’t have a pastor at the present time, and the last time I did have one, he seemed more concerned with announcing Bingo night and the hours for Novena than surveying the American scene.
Compare, too, my near-death military experiences with Clinton. It’s easy to do since the closest I have come to battle was going to San Antonio in the 1970’s and just missing the siege of the Alamo by a hundred and forty years. I also experienced Pearl Harbor in 1973, and I could feel the thunder of warplanes sweeping over our tour boat 32 years after The Day That Would Live In Infamy. The boat, too, I felt seemed to be observed by many Japanese fifth columnists posing as Japanese tourists.
My slogan:
Change you won’t notice.
Compromise is kinda like that.

Posted in: News, Tom

Uncle Jake is back! Been thinking it over and decided not to pull any punches–Its clear now Obama is a crazy creep–that Reverend who is his “dear friend” is the biggest bigot and traitor of all–before you criticize me–you better wake up and smell the coffee–I support all races and freedom–i do not condone hatred–clearly Obama is not a true American if he has supported this crazy preacher all these years– Hillary is a phony too–you really want old “Bubba” back in the white house?- dont be stupid–John McCain is your candidate-vote for this American hero now!—The stock market hasnt hit bottom yet–d0 not jump in now–too risky–Ivanka Trump is the most beautiful woman in the world right now–though some others come close–hey Paterson–you’re another stupid creep who has discraced the high office of Governor–like that shitter Eliot Spitzer–Jake is back–and he’s not nice!–See you later–i need a tall boy

Posted in: Uncle Jake

Zach of the group currently known as the Grown Ass Men will be appearing on Red Eye tonight on America’s favorite news channel, Fox News. Tune in at 3am. Check your local listings. He will be the gagged houseboy quivering in the corner…

 -GAM

Posted in: GAM, News

so i am here almost two weeks in my new house–its raining now–and i worry the too thin walls may cave in at any time–you hear about those fat cat lawyers or money guys padding their own wallets while their companies reported losses of billions–these money guys skim off the top all the time while the rest of us go around in old clothes and no heat–they’re oughta be a law–i am here to watch your back–a few nervous nellies got all crazy because i said a few decidely politically incorrect comments–as i said i dont apologize–you want it straight im here for you–you can’t take the truth then go get lost—im not here to baby you–incase you havent figured it out yet–the government and the politicians aint telling you nothing about what’s really happening–you want the truth listen to what im saying–i am for black people–gay people and all people who do not engage in hypocrisy of any kind–so i dont like Obama–i dont like Hillary–so what–its a free Country—im here to protect you!!!–my friends–these are difficult times—stay focused—lay off drugs–dont beat up on your woman or disgrace her–im not perfect but im here for you—talk to you soon–time for a tall boy—

Posted in: Uncle Jake

To read the article seen in the Queens Tribune go to:

http://www.queenstribune.com/leisure/SketchComedyGroupSpottedIn.html

–GAM

Posted in: GAM, News

Lots of water….lots of sleep (if you can), 2 advils b4 sleep will help a
lot…..fruit…..soup…..3 vitamn C supliments a day….”sambucal” as directed
for intense use…..organic cranberry juice….yogi immune defense tea, with
lemon and honey……immune defense suppliments…..a lot of fruit, particularly
blueberries blended into a shake….. Vegetable, and lental soup…..and water,
water, water!

-GAM

Posted in: GAM

I ve been away and just checked and saw a few nasty responses to my latest Blog—–the phrase “oreo cookie”  which i used to describe Obama seemed to generate a lot of anger—but why? if you know the true meaning of the phrase you wouldn’t be so shaken up–it simply means black on the outside–white on the inside–the man after all is half white–are you offended cause i called him a creep–thats an opinion–Al Sharpton had some harsh things to say about Don Imus–that was his opinion–lets stop coddling this guy–and if you’re so offended by my honest views about Politics maybe you oughta run home to Mommy–I tell it like it is–I am not a racist—i am an honest columnist- my comments about one man were not meant to slander anyones race creed or religion-why is okay to call George Bush a war criminal–and one little comment about a Black (half-white) man get every body in a tizzy–keep your powder dry–I dont apologize—time for a  brew

Posted in: Uncle Jake

The Tower Records in midtown USA book signing for Ross’s latest books, “Friend of a Friend” and “How to Make a Used Car Look New”, has been cancelled due to flu like symptoms. It’s nothing serious but we’re taking the necessary steps.

-GAM

Posted in: GAM

We’ve heard your comments, questions, criticisms and massive emails regarding Uncle Jake’s comment towards Senator Barrack Obama. We understand your anger and we’re working towards solving the problem immediately. We’ve not had a chance to speak with Uncle Jake concerning this matter but we will take the necessary steps that are necessary into getting out the awareness so no comment offensive or non offensive to any race, religion, person(s), (B)black, Asian or bald gets repeated the wrong way. We will recommend a 24 hour suspension of the “Ask Uncle Jake Blog” as well as a 50 dollar fine going towards an important charity in charge of disease research for whales. We will also recommend that he seek professional help and that he not just only seek council from his close and immediate friends. If there’s anything else we can do to continue to berate him, disparage him and hurt him in any way we’re open to every race and religion to further comment on this topic of conversation. Thank you and good night. We’re once again sorry and we will do anything necessary to rectify the matter no matter what…And obviously the views expressed in his blog do not 100% represent the views of the entire group.

 -GAM

Posted in: GAM